Tcl Poetry

Tcl Poetry - a place for poems or other creative bits about (or in) Tcl.

When I was a Lad

Stu 2004-05-14: "When I was a Lad" from H.M.S. Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan

 When I was a lad I served a term
 As coding grunt in a dot-com firm
 I used [read] quite often and then sometimes [gets]
 And I made my GUIs by [grid]ing my widg-ets
 (He made his GUIs by [grid]ding his widg-ets!)
 I [grid]ded all my widgets so carefully
 That now I am a member of the TCT
 (He [grid]ded all his widgets so carefully, that now he is a member of the TCT!)

 As coding grunt I made such a stir
 That they gave me the post of a pro-gram-mer
 I prototyped in ANSI such as is my wont
 And I printed out my listings in a twelve point font
 (He printed out his listings in a twelve point font!)
 I printed out my listings so beautifully
 That now I am a member of the TCT
 (He printed out his listings so beautifully, that now he is a member of the TCT!)

 In crafting [proc]s I made such a name
 That a writer of TIPs I soon became
 The wheels in motion, my submission did set
 For the TIP approval process on the In-ter-net
 (For the TIP approval process on the In-ter-net!)
 That TIP approval process did so well for me
 That now I am a member of the TCT
 (That TIP approval process did so well for he, that now he is a member of the TCT!)

 My TIPs were so spiffy, there was no debate
 That I found myself a cushy job at ActiveState
 I got that job and was ever so glad
 'Twas the only job I ever had had
 ('Twas the only job he ever had had!)
 That kind of job so suited me
 That now I am a member of the TCT
 (That kind of job so suited he, that now he is a member of the TCT!)

 I grew so smart (smarter than a goat)
 That several quite important TIPs required my vote
 I always voted at JH's call
 And I never thought of thinking for myself at all
 (He never thought of thinking for himself at all!)
 I thought so little, they rewarded me
 By making me a member of the TCT
 (He thought so little they rewarded he, by making him a member of the TCT!)

 Now coders all whoever you may be
 If you want to rise to the top of the tree
 If your soul isn't fettered to a corporate tool
 Be careful to be guided by this golden rule
 (Be careful to be guided by this golden rule!)
 Write [proc]s docs and tests ... and license BSD
 And you'll all be a member of the TCT!
 (Write [proc]s docs and tests and license BSD, and you'll all be a member of the TCT!)

Tcl Noir

dbohdan 2016-05-02: The following is inspired by Larry Wall's Black Perl . It is a valid Tcl program that runs to the end. No text is quoted, since that would have made it too easy.

Run with wish 8.6.

dbohdan 2016-10-20: I'm happy to add that this poem has since won the Source Code Poetry contest for 2016 in the category "most impressive submission".

#! /usr/bin/env wish
# Tcl Noir
# by dbohdan

package names
package versions ,microfilms

proc ure _ evidence
after idle chat

set of names

join forces with
    array $of informants
lassign [list of] tasks
label .suspects
lsearch for answers

catch glimpses
return -level 0 results
info exists somewhere!
lsearch some more

catch yourself thinking,
    frame .someone?

try violence \
trap real evildoers vainly \
trap vicious crooks \
reflect on error made ""

scale .mountains--
    entry .forbidden

try everything \
finally exit