OO Killed My Brother

Originally started to blow off some steam from the discussion TIP #257: Object Orientation for Tcl, here is a summary of several excellent reasons why TIP #257 should be rejected:

  • An object system fell asleep on my brother's face when he was an infant, causing him to suffocate. (He got better when he began to use procedural techniques.)
  • OO causes cancer.
  • OO programmers steal all of our parking spaces.
  • OO is bad because someone, somewhere, might have fun with it (the Puritan counterargument)
  • I don't need OO. I also don't need non-english languages, so the I18N support should go too.
  • OO makes baby jesus cry.
  • Once I was on a space salvage crew, we got a distress call from a planet. This OO thing popped out of an egg and hugged this guys face, what followed wasn't pretty. We then drove it away by using procedural code.
  • Every time someone uses OO programming, god kills a kitten.

If you think of any more, please feel free to add them here.

Comments on this page:

Yeah, and youth culture killed my dog.

What a strange page title...

Anonymous - I like both! When programming from bottom to top I prefer the procedural approach and when it comes to the Top-Down part of the problem, I prefer the OO approach. Free Your Mind!!!

The really strange thing about this page is rather how it demonstrates the extreme sensitivity of the whole OO issue. Some (no need for names) have reacted very strongly on this "criticism", even though it is obviously not seriously meant.